\u00a92004 by Jennifer Honeycutt. May not be reproduced without permission.<\/p>\n
was like drowning in the ocean.
\ni was knocked over,
\ntossed by the rumble of sweet salty water.<\/p>\n
your cruelty was concise,
\nbut i wanted to come up for air,
\nwanted to fumble my way to the surface.<\/p>\n
when i was sucked down by the sand,
\nsoft under my curled toes,
\nyou got what you wanted:
\ni was under your control.<\/p>\n
i wondered if i would survive,
\nwondered if you would latch onto me
\neven though you had won.<\/p>\n
you watched me struggle for a few moments,
\nwatched my spent lungs expel water
\nlike a spigot.
\nyou enjoyed my powerlessness.<\/p>\n
but then you threw me a buoy:
\nit was one way to make yourself
\neven more powerful.<\/p>\n
you reeled me in: your catch of the day,
\ncrusty with sand and salt,
\nwrinkled with weariness.<\/p>\n
now, afterwards, you lord it over me,
\nsay you are my savior, my jesus.<\/p>\n
my toes are still curled around imaginary sand.<\/p>\n
my body knows what my heart won\u2019t admit:
\ninstead of accepting your help,
\ni should\u2019ve found the strength to save myself.<\/p>\n