the vet added 5 more medications, so now tigger is up to 15 meds total, several times a day. that is A LOT of greenies pill pockets per day. we stuff them as full as we can, but with 15 pills it obviously takes more than 1 pill pocket. some of the meds are antibiotics, so he won’t have to take them forever.

he has to go back to the vet for more blood work in 1 week, then he goes for another ultrasound in 3 weeks. we’re keeping our fingers crossed that the lymph nodes are smaller at the next ultrasound; if they aren’t, then that’s definitely not good news. the antibiotics should take care of the gall bladder infection, but the vet wasn’t sure if the lymph nodes were enlarged because of the infection or because of cancer. we opted not to do the cancer test because if that’s what it is, then there’s nothing else they can do.

but we aren’t worrying about that right now. we’re just glad he’s home and feeling better.

he seemed a lot better last night compared to the day before. he was hungry, which is a good sign. the vet wasn’t letting him eat since he was having diarrhea and throwing up. he should be able to eat later today since it will be 24 hours with no additional episodes.

he was happy to see us and his eyes looked a lot brighter. josh went to see him today at lunch and said he looked even better today. later this afternoon the vet will do more bloodwork and test his liver enzymes to see how the antibiotics are working. if he’s responding to the antibiotics, hopefully we can bring him home by sunday or monday.

we have not decided whether or not to do the cancer test. if it is cancer, there is absolutely nothing they can do since he’s not a candidate for chemotherapy. so we almost feel like, if we can’t do anything, then do we want to find out, or do we want to just keep him comfortable and enjoy the next few months with him?

but the vet said if tigger does respond well to the antibiotics, then the enlarged lymph node may decrease meaning it may not be cancer. it could just be so enlarged from all he’s dealing with right now. so we will see how his test results turn out.

we’re going to visit him again tonight.

oh, and today is our 9th wedding anniversary. we both almost forgot with everything that’s going on. we’ll celebrate when tigger is better.

the vet did an ultrasound today and said he has a gall bladder infection, his pancreas doesn’t look healthy, he has nodes on his liver (possibly from the phenobarbital he takes, but the vet said the nodes don’t look consistent with nodes typically caused by pheno), and he has a very enlarged lymph node behind his stomach, which could possibly be cancer.

he’s getting antibiotics and IV fluids at the hospital. we’re going to see him tonight during visitation hours.

we’ve decided to keep him on the antibiotics for the next 3 to 5 days. if he gets better, then we’ll know that the gall bladder infection is most likely causing many of the other symptoms, and it can be managed with long-term antibiotics (he’s not a candidate for gall bladder removal surgery). if he doesn’t get better, then it’s likely that he has cancer and nothing more can be done.

winston keeps walking around looking for tigger. and i’m trying not to think about the fact that there’s a real possibility that tigger won’t come home.

well, you all know the story…he progressed quickly to congestive heart failure and within a few months was on many different medications. eventually we had to take him to the emergency room because he was passing out when he had coughing spells, which is called syncope. basically he wasn’t getting enough oxygen.

after the emergency room visit, he started seeing the cardiologist on staff there. she put him on a few more medications and, over the last year, made a lot of adjustments to the dosages. he’s on seven medications total now, about $300 a month worth. but since january or so, she made one final adjustment to one of his medications and that seemed to do the trick. he’s been fairly stable since then.

of course, he’ll never get better. we can see him aging before our eyes. he is a lot slower than he used to be, he sleeps a lot, and he doesn’t want to play like he used to. his favorite thing is to curl up with us on the couch or the bed and go to sleep.

but his eyes are still bright, he still loves to eat and get treats, he loves to get a new toy (with which he’ll climb on the couch or bed and chew as long as he can, until winston bullies his way in and grabs the toy). his tail still wags furiously when we talk to him and he barks like crazy when josh gets home from work. he’s still so incredibly smart.

he has many more good days than bad.

we know at some point that’s going to be reversed, and we’re going to have to make a terrible decision.

but we made it through year one. it’s been hard, and it’s been stressful, and i can’t remember the last time either of us got more than three or four hours of sleep at night. but we’re grateful for every additional second we get with tigger. we want as many extra seconds as possible.

he has occasional coughing spells, but nothing like before. he hasn’t had any seizures since he started on the pheno, and his weight seems to be holding fairly steady. he definitely isn’t losing, and he seems hungry all the time, but the vet said we really have to watch what we feed him since pheno makes dogs hungrier. he goes back to the vet in a few weeks to have his liver levels checked and to see if he’s well enough to have his teeth cleaned. i’m not sure we’re to that point yet but i do think we’ll get there. i’m going to be a nervous wreck the day he has his teeth cleaned.

he definitely seems perkier, though. he wants to play with winston most nights, and he gets very excited when josh gets home from work. he’s been spending more time outside, sniffing and barking at the neighbor’s dogs. he seems a little bit younger now that he’s on the medication. he’s even to the point where he’ll take his medicine with no problem. every night he comes trotting into the kitchen as soon as he hears me get the pills out. he sits on the kitchen rug and stares up at me while i get them all prepared. i put the pills inside a piece of a little debbie oatmeal creme pie and he eats it right up (that’s the only way he’ll take his pills; believe me, we’ve tried everything else: cheese, peanut butter, yogurt, treats, crushing over food, dropping them down his throat, etc.). but he loves oatmeal creme pies (knock wood), so i’ll keep buying those.

in other news, today is the first day i’ve really craved a soft drink.

i was up late last night as usual, and around 1:00 am i started really wanting something carbonated. i have no idea why. the last few weeks have been okay for the most part. i haven’t bought any soda, just drinking green tea, water, and a glass of wine here and there.

i am getting caffeine headaches. green tea doesn’t have nearly as much caffeine as soda. for example, my standard soda, diet mountain dew, has 55 milligrams of caffeine compared to 20 milligrams in green tea. plus i used to have at least two diet mountain dews per day. i’m only drinking one cup of tea every morning. usually in the early afternoon, i get a headache. i have one right now.

but it’s nothing i can’t get through. i know soda is bad for me, so i’m not going to start drinking it again. i just have to give myself time to get adjusted to the lower dose of caffeine.

he had four this past weekend. so i called the vet when i got home on monday and we agreed that it was probably time to start giving tigger phenobarbital, which he’ll be on for the rest of his life.

he’s had seizures off and on throughout his life, but they haven’t been serious or frequent. they’ve been rare: only 3-4 per year on average. but he had a cluster this past march and now the cluster this past weekend. one of the heart medications he’s taking can cause dogs to be more susceptible to seizures, so i imagine that’s what caused the latest cluster.

he’s been taking the pheno for two days and he seems fine so far. the vet said it usually makes dogs a little dopey for the first two weeks while their bodies adjust. i expected him to sleep more, but he’s been sleeping normally so far. he even wanted to play tonight. he brought me an old chewed up purple toy and set it beside me and alternated staring at it and at me for several minutes. it just breaks my heart because he isn’t supposed to play. i don’t want him doing anything that will cause him to cough.

he’s lost a little bit of weight, which is a good thing. his stomach looks less bloated. he probably still needs to lose another two pounds or so.

we’ll take him back to the vet this weekend. hopefully we’ll get a good report and be able to get his teeth cleaned in the next few weeks.

i have no idea why the mainstream media isn’t reporting this. now melamine has been found in hogs, some of which may have made it into the human food chain. and the FDA is also investigating a poultry farm.

my dogs’ new food has chicken in it. at this point i’m not even sure if there’s anything left that’s safe to feed them. i am terrified that the food i provide for them will kill them.

the media keeps reporting that only 16 cats and dogs have died from the poisoned food, but the real numbers are far and away over that.

***

i never posted an update about tigger because it’s a little hard to put into words. the ultrasound showed that he has a damaged heart valve, and there’s evidence of an infection in the heart. fortunately, the vet said that he’s treated many dogs with this same condition and, while there are no guarantees, it can be managed with medication.

the vet can’t be sure what caused the damage; it could be something as simple as a trauma like jumping off the couch and landing the wrong way, or it could be old age, or it could be because of an infection in his teeth. we have to take him back to the vet in a week and a half when he’s finished with his antibiotics, and then they’ll evaluate him to see if he’s ready to have his teeth cleaned.

of course i’m a basket case. i watch him constantly and look for signs of…something. i don’t even know what i’m looking for. i just know that he acts like he doesn’t feel well. he isn’t very playful anymore, but i always attributed it to his not being a puppy anymore.

he started on the medication on saturday, and up until last night he hadn’t had any coughing spells since then. but last night he wanted to play with winston, and as soon as he got a little worked up he started coughing. i freaked out, but josh was like, “we can’t force him to sit down and be still for the rest of his life.” and i guess he’s right, but i want tigger to be with us as long as possible, and i know that the coughing spells mean trouble. for the most part, tigger lies next to me on the couch or lies in the chair in my office while i’m working all day. he doesn’t play much; he’s been a lapdog for several years now. but i can’t help but feel that i don’t want him to do anything that would put his heart in jeopardy — meaning that i don’t want him to do anything. i’m so overprotective that i annoy myself.

everybody keeps saying, “oh, you should have a baby.” i guess i’ll be subjected to random comments like that from strangers until i’m old and gray. notwithstanding the fact that i don’t want any children, a part of me is too terrified to be responsible for a real actual baby. i mean, everyone says that it’s amazing how much you love your children, that you didn’t think it was possible to love someone as much as you love them. and that’s great and i’m sure it’s amazing — but i can’t fathom loving anything or anyone more than i love my dogs, and that level of love makes me crazy. they are my babies, they are members of my family, and they make my family complete. if having a baby bumps that up to yet another level, then i have no interest in going there (and even if it didn’t, i still don’t want a baby — sorry mom).

i took him to the vet because he was coughing whenever he played with winston. the vet said he has a heart murmur that wasn’t apparent at his previous appointment, which was back in january or february. since he was only coughing while playing, the vet said to keep an eye on him and to bring him back if the coughing got worse.

within the last week, he started coughing when he wasn’t doing anything. he was also breathing heavier and snoring while sleeping. now, winston snores like a freight train because of his flat face, but tigger has never snored, so it struck me as very strange.

i took him to the vet yesterday and they took x-rays. the x-rays showed that both his heart and his liver are enlarged. the vet said he doesn’t think tigger is in heart failure yet, but he is concerned with how quickly the coughing progressed. he prescribed four medications: two antibiotics and two medicines that will help relieve the stress on his heart. and i have to take tigger back to the vet tomorrow so they can do a cardiac ultrasound, which will tell them how serious the damage is and will help them figure out why the liver is enlarged. i have to leave tigger there all day so they can do it.

tigger is not even nine years old yet. he’s not old. he’s a small dog so we thought he’d be with us until he was 15 or 16 years old. i don’t know if that’s even remotely possible now. i don’t know what i will do when tigger is gone. he’s my baby — literally, since josh and i are choosing not to have children. he’s the first pet i’ve ever had. i’ll never forget when we brought him home, all three pounds of him curled up and trembling on my lap. i was as scared of him as he was of us. i grew up terrified of dogs, yet i let josh talk me into getting one. and now i can’t imagine life without both tigger and winston.

tigger hasn’t coughed since i started him on the medications yesterday. hopefully the ultrasound will show that the damage isn’t that bad and can be managed with the medications. i may post an update tomorrow; it really just depends on what the vet tells us.

tigger gets red barn lamb and rice meat roll and nutro natural choice lite dry food.

winston was getting nutro natural choice chicken, rice, and oatmeal for adults canned food and nutro natural choice lite dry food. i’ve since switched his canned food to canidae all life stages canned and he likes it just as well.

(both dogs get miniscule portions of the roll/canned-type food. most of their food is the dry food.)

i’m also going to switch both dogs from the nutro dry food to canidae platinum dry food. i just have to go a little slower switching the dry food so i don’t upset their stomachs.

the nutro canned and dry food i give them isn’t involved in the recall, but there are some nutro products that are (including nutro natural choice chicken, rice, and oatmeal for puppies canned food). it’s probably unncessary to switch but it’s just too close for comfort.

i did a lot of research (surprise surprise) and decided on canidae. i might even wean tigger off of the red barn, but he really loves it. the canidae is healthier, though, especially at his age. i’ve started giving him a supplement with his dinner, solid gold seameal powder with flaxseed. it smells gross, but he eats it up.

while i was researching, i came across a website called waggintails, a premium pet food store. i ended up buying the canidae canned and dry food from them and have been really impressed. they sent regular email communications, and they shipped less than 24 hours after i placed my order. they also sent me a 10% off coupon for my next order.

i signed up for their mailing list and have since gotten several emails about the recall. they went so far as to contact each manufacturer of the brands that they carry to find out if any of the food was made by menu foods. they’ve suspended sales of all food made by menu foods, even if the food wasn’t included in the recall. i just received an email that details all the information they have confirmed with the manufacturers, including who confirmed it (PR agency, company president, other representative, etc.) and whether ingredients are purchased in the U.S. or overseas.

the email also included a link to petsitusa.com, where the owner of that site is keeping a list of all foods not included in the recall.

very impressive, and i will definitely buy from waggintails again. i can’t think of too many other companies that would go above and beyond getting information out to their customer base the way they have.