what a mess

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this pet food recall is turning into a crisis…

i have no idea why the mainstream media isn’t reporting this. now melamine has been found in hogs, some of which may have made it into the human food chain. and the FDA is also investigating a poultry farm.

my dogs’ new food has chicken in it. at this point i’m not even sure if there’s anything left that’s safe to feed them. i am terrified that the food i provide for them will kill them.

the media keeps reporting that only 16 cats and dogs have died from the poisoned food, but the real numbers are far and away over that.

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i never posted an update about tigger because it’s a little hard to put into words. the ultrasound showed that he has a damaged heart valve, and there’s evidence of an infection in the heart. fortunately, the vet said that he’s treated many dogs with this same condition and, while there are no guarantees, it can be managed with medication.

the vet can’t be sure what caused the damage; it could be something as simple as a trauma like jumping off the couch and landing the wrong way, or it could be old age, or it could be because of an infection in his teeth. we have to take him back to the vet in a week and a half when he’s finished with his antibiotics, and then they’ll evaluate him to see if he’s ready to have his teeth cleaned.

of course i’m a basket case. i watch him constantly and look for signs of…something. i don’t even know what i’m looking for. i just know that he acts like he doesn’t feel well. he isn’t very playful anymore, but i always attributed it to his not being a puppy anymore.

he started on the medication on saturday, and up until last night he hadn’t had any coughing spells since then. but last night he wanted to play with winston, and as soon as he got a little worked up he started coughing. i freaked out, but josh was like, “we can’t force him to sit down and be still for the rest of his life.” and i guess he’s right, but i want tigger to be with us as long as possible, and i know that the coughing spells mean trouble. for the most part, tigger lies next to me on the couch or lies in the chair in my office while i’m working all day. he doesn’t play much; he’s been a lapdog for several years now. but i can’t help but feel that i don’t want him to do anything that would put his heart in jeopardy — meaning that i don’t want him to do anything. i’m so overprotective that i annoy myself.

everybody keeps saying, “oh, you should have a baby.” i guess i’ll be subjected to random comments like that from strangers until i’m old and gray. notwithstanding the fact that i don’t want any children, a part of me is too terrified to be responsible for a real actual baby. i mean, everyone says that it’s amazing how much you love your children, that you didn’t think it was possible to love someone as much as you love them. and that’s great and i’m sure it’s amazing — but i can’t fathom loving anything or anyone more than i love my dogs, and that level of love makes me crazy. they are my babies, they are members of my family, and they make my family complete. if having a baby bumps that up to yet another level, then i have no interest in going there (and even if it didn’t, i still don’t want a baby — sorry mom).


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