on wednesday a lizard got into my house.

i saw it in the foyer and went to grab an empty shoebox to scoop it up. well of course the damn thing was quicker than i, so it scurried off into the nether regions of my office, under the bookcase and who knows where after that. i searched in vain for a long time, but never did find it.

i had nightmares that night about lizards slithering on me while i slept.

today, friday, i was sitting in my office working when i noticed that one of my dogs, winston, was standing stock-still in the foyer and staring at something intently. i followed his gaze and, lo and behold, there was the damn lizard!

i hollered at winston to come into my office. tigger was already asleep on a chair beside me, so i shut the two dogs in the room and grabbed the empty shoebox again. i cornered the lizard in the foyer and got him into the shoebox, opened the front door, and dropped it on the sidewalk (didn’t mean to drop it, but the damn thing was thrashing around violently).

the lizard hurried off into the bushes and, presumably, off into the sunset.

and so there you have it: me vs. a lizard, with me winning. although technically the lizard won too, since it was released back into the wild. but really, i’m the big winner because now i won’t wake up in a cold sweat imagining lizards slithering on me while i sleep.

(and yes, this is really how exciting my life is.)

(and what’s even sadder: my two dogs were scared of the damn lizard, all three inches of it. neither one of the dogs even attempted to go after it.)